Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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