It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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