Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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