maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
