He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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