actually, I'm a sock model
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
