Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
