i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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