You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize