yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
