please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize