we have officially lost it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
