took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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