Acid is not a monday night drug
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think my moral compass just broke
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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