Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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