I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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