AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
