Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize