We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
