Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
