how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
