I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
