I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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