You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
