why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
