I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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