.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
