he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Enjoy the penises
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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