So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
