this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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