Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
