white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
