people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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