Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
