Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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