her vagine was all disorganized.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
