You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
