I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
