She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize