Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
