We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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