i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
