If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
