i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
