new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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