i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
