Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
