y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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