her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
