You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need a beard to bite.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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