I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
