Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
