I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
