Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize