seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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