I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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